to be alone or to not be alone...that is the question...

Today is not a good day. I don’t physically really hurt today, but emotionally I do.

I realize that my fused back is who I am. I had a person make lots of comments about my back limitations. Who are people to tell ME…MY limitations?!?! I am over trying to argue with people and trying to tell them I know myself better than them. They say they worry about it and won’t have fun because they are worrying about it. That is BS and I am over it! My back has problems, and it has helped turned me into the person I am today, but it does not define me every day. It does not inhibit me from living and enjoying life. What really hurts the most about it all is people don’t invite me or don’t want to come because I cannot be “hardcore” enough or won’t be doing “hardcore” enough things for them. I hate being the 2^nd person or the last resort person. If the person can’t find people to be “hardcore” with, then they call me. This has happened with lots of people since breaking my back. It sure makes me feel like the lowly of lowliest people in the world. Why do people treat people with a physical aliment so different and they just can’t get over it? It sucks…I hate it, I am over it and I am over it making me feel like less of a person. I am not less of a person for my chronic injury…and I will not be tolerated being treated like it. I will not cause drama with it, but I will not be sad and sit around and feel sorry for myself. I will get up and go do it and do it by myself if I have to. I have done a lot of things by myself since breaking my back and there is not thing that has to change that now. It would be nice to not be along, but maybe that is just my calling in life. So at the start of this blog it was not a good day....but I will turn it into a good day by myself.